Can Purell be used as lube?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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