whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
