i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
