Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
