I'm drive I can fine osifer
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
