I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
love makes seman taste better
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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