Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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