my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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