All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
