New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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