i was rollin on her like bob the builder
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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