doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
