Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
