Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
