Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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