i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
