is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The beer is more important than you right now.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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