ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
