I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
