i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
