Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
