I wish I only lived at night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
