the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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