I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
