I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize