I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
