my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
