all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
