big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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