In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
