weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
