I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize