umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
