how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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