you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize