she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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