I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
