for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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