Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
