Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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