eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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