If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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