I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
