So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
