Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
