Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
