Will you blow on my dice?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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