what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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