Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
