Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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