We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
