Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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