You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
