No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
