Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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