bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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