she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
