This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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