Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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