I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
