HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
