What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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