just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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